i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I supernannyed him into submission
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
