I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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