question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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