His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
