PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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