were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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