Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
