I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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