why didn't you poke me back
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Randomize
