Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize
