Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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