The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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