I'm going to jail i love you
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
