I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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