I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
