i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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