Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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