I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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