put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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