so that wasnt chicken after all
dude i'm inner monologue high
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
