K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
