I think I am morally bankrupt
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
