I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
