Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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