ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
jump out the window naked night went bad
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
