oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
