you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have tasted many bathrooms
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize