I got chris browned last night
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
