Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
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