I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
