Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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