my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
