my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Randomize
