So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
