another moral hangover. fuck.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
