I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
You can't motorboat a personality
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
