there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
