I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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