so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
im holly from the hills drunk
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I don't deserve a penis
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
