About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
