i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize