try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
