Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
