When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
