I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
