Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Be still, my beating vagina.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
