After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
