I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
