The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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