He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
