All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize