"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
