i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
