Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
