U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Randomize
