You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
