went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
