we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
