Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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