brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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