Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
