I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize
