I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
